Thursday, February 9, 2017

Katy Wrote Some Poems!

So possibly the best thing to ever happen to me in my entire life happened a week or two ago - I got access to Oscar screeners.  I won't reveal my source, but needless to say they are possibly my favorite person in the world and a personal hero.  I've therefore spent the last couple of weeks seeing a ton of movies, but none in the theater.  This throws the blog into disarray, since I was planning to review the movies I saw in theaters and ignore the ones I watched at home.  

So instead, I thought I'd get you all up to speed with brief reviews of what I've watched in the last two weeks.  How brief, you ask? Why, seventeen syllables each, to be exact!  That's right, I've spent my free time writing little haikus about each of these movies, because I am super cool and not at all strange.  I hope that you enjoy them.  

And be sure to check back on my earlier post, Katy Goes to the Playoffs!, where I will periodically update the list of nominees so you can see what I have left to see!

My Oscar Haikus

Hacksaw Ridge (Nominations: Picture, Actor, Director, Editing, Sound Editing, Sound Mixing)

            Did you like Braveheart?
            This was the same but with more
            Jesus and violence.

Hidden Figures (Picture, Supporting Actress, Adapted Screenplay)

            I am glad that films
like this get made; these women
have great tales to tell.

Deepwater Horizon (Visual Effects, Sound Editing)

            No judgment: I have
            a thing for blue collar hero 
            movies like this one.

Hail Caesar (Production Design)

            Why does this movie
            Exist? It has nothing to
Say and makes no sense.

Suicide Squad (Makeup)

            The worst film ever
            was Sex and the City: 2.
            This one is second. 

Jungle Book (Visual Effects)

            I miss the songs and
            The bear in drag dancing with
            A jazz orangutan.

13 Hours: The Secret Soldiers of Benghazi (Sound Mixing)

            Add Michael Bay
            To the list of liars
            Responsible for Trump.

Life, Animated (Documentary Feature)

            Autistic boy
            Finds world through Disney movies
            Sweet but forgettable.

Kubo and the Two Strings (Visual Effects, Animated Feature)

            Amazing stop-
            Motion but I thought that the story
            Was just so-so.

A Man Called Ove (Foreign Film, Makeup)

            This movie was odd
but cute I guess? I'm glad the
cat ended up fine. 

Jackie (Actress, Costume, Score)

            I don’t know what
            Jackie O. sounded like but
            I’m sure Portman did well.

Jim: The James Foley Story (Song)

            The nom’d song is
really dull but this film
(on HBO) is just great.

OJ: Made in America (Documentary Feature)

            I cannot stop thinking
about this movie.
Everyone should see it!

My Life as a Zucchini (Animated Feature)

            Weird little French
Claymation movie. Charming,
odd and so very French.